Overcoming dating fears

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Part of the battle of dating is in eliminating your fears -- of intimacy, of vulnerability, of emotional honesty, of betrayal, of rejection, of ourselves -- so that you can open yourself to the possibility of love. Online dating presents a unique set of fears and challenges.

And if you're so scared of real life that you don't ever take your romance out of the virtual realm, then you miss out on the possibility of growing your online relationship into something real and lasting.Another part of the fear re: phone calls is an absence of things to discuss, of awkward pauses and momentary glitches in the flow of conversation. There is in writing down topics in advance to make phone conversation smoother. The only shame is in being so scared of the phone that you don't even make it past the online stage to a real life meeting. We all have a fear of getting close to people, but we must overcome that fear if we want to find love.As we wrote previously, "our earnestness reflects our ability to open ourselves up in relationships and put ourselves out there — even if it means revealing our vulnerabilities." A good way of overcoming this fear is to simply look at the alternative.Being hurt is painful, but there is also pain in prolonged solitude. The pain of heartbreak, which dulls over time, or the pain of solitude, which only grows as time goes on?In the end, love is worth the struggle, so swallow your fears and take the leap. The scariest aspect of other people is not knowing if your idea of who they are coheres with the actual truth of who they are.

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