Obsessive online dating
One day this realization hit me like a ton of bricks while I was obsessing over the failure of my latest relationship.To stop feeling terrible and get off this emotional roller coaster for good, I realized I had a choice.Each time someone isn’t right for you and shows you that, honor their decision even if you feel differently. Do not use the experience as proof that you aren’t good enough.You have an infinite well of love to give another person. Do not underestimate its worth to a potential mate. You must maintain the belief that there are more than a few who would love your company.Meeting someone new, going on a few great dates, getting excited, having one/both of you sort of stop calling; then repeating the process over and over is enough to make you want to give up for good.The ups and downs in this cycle can make you feel like you are unbalanced and have whiplash.For whatever reason, you were not right for someone else. It is easy to get hung up on the “whys” behind their decision, but dwelling on them doesn’t change the reality.If you aren’t right for someone else, they aren’t right for you.
Rather than looking for your other half and staying off balance, you must believe that you are worthy and whole right now.While it is a universal experience to want someone to share your life with, your value is not determined by your success or failure at searching for a mate.It helped me to repeat, “I am whole, I am love” before and after dates, to get the idea across strongly that the outcome of this one event was not a determinate of my lovability or worth.Several times during my dating experiences, I had to shut down my various online dating profiles for a few months and lick my wounds. It often became necessary to stop everything and reflect on why dating experiences had been such abysmal failures. I went on so many dates that I was testing different outfits, different responses to texts, different time frames for everything. I certainly could have won an award for persistence, but why did it still feel like not only were there great people out there, but they were behind some kind of sturdy glass wall?It takes a lot of determination and/or masochism to keep putting yourself out there when Mr. Without fail, I would eventually put my rose colored glasses back on and try again, inspired by a friend meeting someone new or it being the absolute depths of winter.